Years ago, I had an epiphany that changed the way I view my life, and today, I want to share it with you again.
Out of all the lessons I’ve learned, this might be the most impactful:
You do not need to justify your existence… or your worth.
Think about that for a moment. Let it sink in.
How often do we second-guess ourselves, relentlessly pushing, feeling like we’re never enough? Many of us fall into the trap of being people pleasers or struggling with indecision. We question our actions, our words, our worth. And why? I believe it all stems from a deep-seated belief that we must somehow prove we are worthy of being here.
It’s easy to see where this comes from. Many of us, even those with loving families, may have grown up feeling like we weren’t enough. I’m not talking about those who experienced extreme trauma or abuse, but even in otherwise stable homes, there can be a sense of lacking—of not receiving enough emotional support or validation.
This can drive us to feel that our worth is contingent on what we achieve or how we perform. Some people might even manifest this insecurity as arrogance, believing they're better than everyone else, which often gets lumped into the label of "narcissism" (a label I’m not particularly fond of, but you get the point).
However, we can’t control how others think, feel, or act. What we do have control over is ourselves—our own thoughts, emotions, decisions, and actions. And when I came to this realization, it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders.
Let me share a short story of how this epiphany happened.
I was getting ready to attend a gathering with friends, people I hadn’t seen in a while. As I was preparing to head out, I was gripped with an overwhelming sense of panic. What had I done since I last saw them? What achievements could I boast about? How had I grown, or what could I show for myself? I was consumed with this pressure to prove my worth.
And then it dawned on me…
None of them were expecting anything from me.
It was my own internal pressure, this misguided notion that I needed to demonstrate my value.
And just before I left for the event, it was as if the Holy Spirit breathed a sense of relief into my soul.
I didn’t need to prove anything.
My friends didn’t love me for my accomplishments or possessions. They valued me for me—my intrinsic qualities, the things that made me, well, me.
That epiphany changed everything for me. These friends weren’t keeping score. They loved me because of who I was. And let me tell you, walking into that gathering with the realization that I didn’t need to justify my existence made it one of the most enjoyable and memorable events I’ve attended. I was free to just be present, without the self-inflicted burden of trying to impress anyone.
Now, I know that for many of us, this idea of proving our worth is deeply ingrained. You might feel the pressure from your job, your family, or society. Maybe you’ve even been in those office environments where it seems like a competition—who had the best vacation, who bought the newest car, or who’s living in the nicest house.
But what matters are your enduring qualities—the attributes that define who you are beyond what you’ve accomplished. I took some time to reflect on what my friends valued in me, and it had nothing to do with my material success. Instead, they appreciated my loyalty, my ability to listen, my empathy, my insights, and my encouragement. None of these qualities are tied to my achievements. They are the gifts God gave me.
If you’ve ever felt like you need to prove yourself, I encourage you to take a step back and focus on those enduring qualities—qualities that have nothing to do with how much money you’ve made, how many accolades you’ve earned, or how far you’ve traveled. I promise you, the people who truly care about you value you for who you are, not what you’ve done.
In fact, once you realize this, it’s easier to live in the present which allows you to shift your focus away from trying to be impressive and start being interested in others.
I remember attending a holiday gathering with my parents a while after this epiphany. I didn’t know many people there, but I engaged in conversations, asking about their lives, their interests, and simply being present. Later, my mom mentioned how many people commented on how interesting I was. And yet, I hadn’t talked about myself at all! I was simply engaged and interested in them.
I found that when you focus on others, the pressure to prove yourself melts away, and you don’t need to justify your existence because your worth isn’t tied to what you’ve done.
I hope this message serves as a reminder that you don’t need to carry the burden of proving your value to anyone. God made you unique, with your own set of talents and gifts. So go out into the world, knowing you are enough.
